Life Cycle Events

Birth

Humanistic Jews believe that: male and female children ought to be treated equally; that children of intermarried couples should have equal status, no matter which parent is Jewish; that the decision about circumcision is a personal one, and any procedures should be done privately; and that the purpose of the birth celebration, (which usually takes place about a month after the baby is born), is to name the baby and publicly welcome it into the Jewish community.

Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Humanistic Jews look upon these occasions as rites of passage into adolescence, rather than into adulthood. Today, preparation for the event gives a young person the chance "to grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually; to develop skills and self-confidence; and to experience a meaningful connection to the Jewish people and to humankind."

Confirmation

For Humanistic Jews, this is an individual ceremony, on a young person's sixteenth birthday, when he or she is given the opportunity to display intellectual and emotional skills as an emerging adult by presenting a research paper on a subject of historical or ethical interest to Humanistic Jews."

Marriage

Humanistic Judaism views the marriage ceremony as a celebration of the mutual commitment of two equal, loyal, and mutually supportive partners. The presence of an audience confers community approval and endorsement of that commitment, but the couple and their relationship are the center of the celebration. Couples are encouraged to participate in the creation of their own marriage ceremony, choosing among Judaic symbols and writings, which will be used within a non theistic context, and adding their own affirmations, music and poetry. "Humanistic Jewish clergy will officiate, or co-officiate at intermarriage ceremonies "within the context and integrity of the philosophy of Humanistic Judaism."

Divorce

Humanistic Judaism does not require any special Jewish divorce document or ceremony.

Death

Humanistic Judaism does not promise immortality or eternal salvation. Instead, it emphasizes the need to find one's purpose and meaning in the life that one leads. Humanistic Judaism does not object to an autopsy, when it will provide information that may save lives and improve health. In a similar vein, it recommends the donation of organs and other body parts for transplantation purposes.

A Humanistic funeral or memorial service (where the body is not present) serves two purposes: to celebrate the life of the deceased; and, through the presence and support of family and friends, to help the bereaved accept their loss. A friend or family member may officiate. Cremation is considered an acceptable choice for Humanistic Jews.

For Humanistic Jews, public mourning should serve to comfort the mourners and to pay tribute to the life and memory of the dead. Practices such as Shiva, Yahrzeit (using non-theistic meditations) and Unveiling (if there is a burial or cremation plot) are done to help the living, both family and community, to reaffirm life.

“A humanistic philosophy of death:

Recognizes that, although death may be painful and tragic for those who survive and may be profoundly regretted, there is nothing in death to fear, any more than one fears sleeping. One may well be afraid of the pain that may precede death, as one may be afraid of, and would try to avoid, pain generally. But, in the absence of consciousness or feelings after death, there is no reason to fear death itself.

Respects the intelligence and feelings of mourners and does not pretend that an incomprehensible, but wonderful, benefit has befallen the deceased.

Respects the life of the deceased by honoring it rather than alleged mystical forces that have taken it away.

Provides memorial ceremonies for the purpose of helping the living accept their loss by strengthening them with the presence, encouragement, and love of friends and family."

(Source: "A Guide to Humanistic Judaism" published by the Society for Humanistic Judaism)